The Chaos of Balance

A man searching for a Balanced Life has many stories.

Here’s my silver medalist win at the US National Pole Championships, pro men.

https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKenPoleNinja

Before the criticisms pour in, I want to say this: I am not a risk taker.  In my community, I am perhaps the most conservative; I am the voice of safety to my peers.

But I needed to do this.

I’ve been on a quest—as many people are—to discover and create myself anew.  Can I be myself despite who I’ve been and what I’m supposed to be to those around me?

I’m told that I’m spread too thin, that I have too many interests; there is no “success” without focus; my prison is investing too widely.

I’ve chosen to deny what they say.  It’s okay to be all of myself.

But part of me still believes what I’m hearing.

I compartmentalize my life.  I say, “I am a doctor right now and not your friend.  I am a pole dancer in this room, a traceur in the other.  I am a writer first and foremost and nothing can stand against that future…except everything, it seems.”  These are some, but there are so many more.

If I continue to compartmentalize, though, there will be nothing significant left of me any place I go.

So I made this video to unify my identities, and also, to show how variability allows new perspectives and new possibilities.  I hope to show parts of this world you’ve never (and may never) see, in ways you’ve not imagined.

This video is me, even if it was conceptualized, scouted, shot, and edited over the course of…4 crammed days?

I know that people will describe me as a thrill chaser, as selfish and stupid.  But I did this for the art of expression.  For its purpose, I had to stop worrying about what other people defined me as or expected of me.  I needed to be in sync with my own soul.

The risk, heavy as it is, was worth the reward.

This is a subjective point, so as much as you may disagree, it’s true because I said it is true for me.

Especially by those who care most, I know that I will be fending off anger.  But I need to trust myself, even here.

I’m not driven by adrenaline or drugs.  I’m aware.  I knew the risks.  I made the decision as a personal one.

And I’m speaking about the entire video—not just the one move.

P.S.  I had to cut a bunch of footage to fit the music and story—if you want the outtakes and additional footage, post in the youtube comments, and I’ll see if I can put together something later.  But for now, I’m exhausted.

I hope this touches you in your own way, somehow.

Music: The Piano Guys—Kung Fu Piano: Cello Ascends.

Video Editing: cheapo Imovie+skillz by amateur me.

Camera: GoPro Hero 3+ Black

Bethany Finlay/Evgeny’s Move.

https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKenPoleNinja

polefiend:

Marlo Fisken and Kenneth Kao goofing around. They could train for hours and hours. We finished our 8 hour instructional session and they bounced around doing handstands and sharing pole tricks for another half hour before the rest of us decided we really, really wanted to eat.

https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKenPoleNinja

polefiend:

Marlo Fisken and Kenneth Kao goofing around. They could train for hours and hours. We finished our 8 hour instructional session and they bounced around doing handstands and sharing pole tricks for another half hour before the rest of us decided we really, really wanted to eat.

https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKenPoleNinja

New move I made up (I think, you never know. Video to come soon, along with several other “recently” invented strength moves.). I’m calling this reverse skyline in Evgeny’s honor. #pole #strengthmove #malepoledancer #powermoves #Evgeny #reverseskyline #crazy

https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKenPoleNinja

New move I made up (I think, you never know. Video to come soon, along with several other “recently” invented strength moves.). I’m calling this reverse skyline in Evgeny’s honor. #pole #strengthmove #malepoledancer #powermoves #Evgeny #reverseskyline #crazy

https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKenPoleNinja